To whom it may concern...

I am in the trenches (hospital) right now.
It's morning and I'm eating a banana. Yay.

I'm in here because my home nurse thought I had fluid in my lungs and my heart rate/rhythm was off. I think I'm fine. I feel okay. But it's better safe than sorry in these situations. You know? I'll probably be here until Tuesday.

I'm always dumbfounded by the apparent lack of giving a shit in this place. I must say, that the actual people have by far been nicer than any visit before. However, the root issues still remain the same.
How can I get better (if i were sick) when no one will let me rest or sleep?

I got here at 9 o'clock at night. The first thing after getting settled in was a blood draw. By a student. This wouldn't be a problem if I had flowing veins of glory, but alas I do not. I have stagnant veins of sludgy hatred. It pissed me off because it took almost an hour!! Didn't they realize it was 11 at night? Luckily Ryan was there. He looked me in the eye from the chair in the corner of the room. He was holding my gaze and gesturing for me to breathe and calm down.

I didn't fall asleep until 3 after all the blood draws and admitting hoopla.

330AM:: Wake up, your potassium was low in those blood tests. Take these giant pills!!!

4AM:::
Loud bang at the door and multiple "Ms. Coooook?" They flipped on all the lights in the room (which I'll never understand) and did an EKG. Little stickers all over my chest, cold, hold still. Sleepily and annoyed I asked why they had to do this so early in the morning. "It's just what we do". End of discussion!

6AM:: Wake up and meet your new nurse for the day. Pretend to give a shit that you have a new nurse. Whatever.

630AM:
Wake up!!! More potassium pills!!!

7AM::
HOUSEKEEPING!!! Proceed to make loud noises as you shake the EMPTY trash bags from their encases. Then hum while you mop the clean floor and spray smelly cleaner on the clean counter.

8AM: Food service! Here's a bunch of shit you can't eat since we didn't bother asking you what you'd like!

830AM:
Come on lets take a ride to the Xray land. hahaha. I'm just going to get out of bed now.

The food service lady came back a few minutes ago and wanted to know what I want for lunch: Roast beef or turkey?
I explained that I'm vegan and she said "well, we have a delicious turkey salad"...it went like this for a while until I eventually asked for her to just bring me some fruit and tea.

hahaha.

I'm not too bitter. Hahaha.

It's okay, there are bright sides to being here. People give me stuff if I push a button. I get my own room with a good view. I have cable and the internet. I'm not very sick, so I'm not puking or anything. And I'm not at home to catch the nasty stomach flu that's being passed amongst roommates!

And Ryan...shows me he loves me by being dedicated to my health even at the expense of his. I know how much it hurts his back to sit in the car for 2 hours (and 2 hours back) to the hospital. I know he really wanted to go to the Harley event today, and that he's giving it up to come be with me.
I could be mad that he left last night, and will leave tonight, to get home before his girlfriend gets suspicious...but I'm not. I'm appreciative of what he can give me, and what he does do for me.
I love that guy.