Vulnerable for the first time.

I have been documenting my hospital stays the last few times I've been in.
I do this because I'm taught to hide the inner workings of the medical experience from people I love. I'm told it's better this way. People don't want to know how I get better, they just want me to be better.
Well let me tell you, it's not like I go to the hospital, am magically healed by a wand, and sent on my merry, healthy way. It is a long, arduous journey. One that is beset on all sides by torturous and sometimes medieval forms of treatment, a bureaucratic hierarchy of doctors and money-makers, a facade of quality of care being a priority, and a million other obstacles.

I feel like SHIT, I look like SHIT, and I'm going through HELL. There is no magical cure, this is my life with chronic illness.
Look at me.